The way I wish they could be...

These peeps are not my creation, I'm merely borrowing them for a bit, having some fun and then returning them unharmed!

This story is adult themed and rated MA.

*Ranger is killed while on a mission. Steph and the Merry Men struggle to cope and move forward. Their bonds grow stronger and love is found. It's not always easy...but love is always worth it.*


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Stephanie’s POV


I sat at in my office at RangeMan looking over some new client contracts. Business has grown unbelievably, but today I can’t get out of my own head. Too much has happened in the past year and for whatever reason it’s picked today to haunt me.


I knew reliving it wasn’t going to change anything, but sometimes you just can’t turn off your mind. It’s been tough for all of us, and we are still struggling to come to terms with Ranger’s death. When he didn’t make it home after his last mission, he took a part of all of us with him.


I hadn’t been in a relationship with Ranger; we had that talk well before I came here to work full time. But what we did have was a very deep bond and he was my best friend. I loved him more than you could imagine, and he loved me with the same fervor. And now that he is gone I feel like such a huge piece of me is missing and sometimes I can’t imagine how I’ll get through another day.


I don’t know how I could have made it through without my Merry Men, they are truly my family. We have all grown much closer and rely on one another.


Sometimes I still expect him to walk through the door and say it was all a horrible mistake. I know it can’t happen, but he was Batman, a hero, a soldier and an amazing human being. He should not have been taken from us.


After Tank told me the news, I hid for awhile in my apartment, until the cavalry came and made me get up and face it. I broke down and said that I didn’t know how I could. They surrounded me with their strength and love, and told me they all felt that way, but together we could get through anything.


They dragged by ass back to Haywood simply stating that was my home and I would be moving there to the seventh floor. I tried to argue that and explain that I couldn’t and wouldn’t stay on the seventh floor as that was Ranger’s home but no one was listening.


They showed me his will. The contents were something I was not expecting and it was something I didn’t want to hear or even acknowledge it. Believe me I understood and knew that Ranger wasn’t coming back, but at that moment, I was in denial land and I wasn’t ready to fully accept it. However, the guys were not willing to let me stay in denial land. It was a tug of war that they weren’t going to let me win.


They sat me down and read Ranger’s will. Most of it was expected regarding Julie, his family and the Merry Men. Then there was what he left me; a letter, his personal cars, properties, personal items and his shares in RangeMan. I was in shock, and the tears were streamed down my face.


I was pissed at a dead man, my best friend for leaving me to face life without him. Damn him for dying! Damn his stubborn ass for leaving me anything, especially part of his company! His will stipulated that with my Business Degree, training, and help from Tank, Lester and Bobby, that I should, and would, take an active part in the running of RangeMan.


That was hard to take. Ranger had always he believed in me and my ability to fly, but I felt he seemed to forget that he was always the one who caught me when I fell. And he was gone, never to catch me again. How was I going to fly?


Then there was his letter. After hours of holding it close to me, struggling with wanting to read it and feeling that I just couldn’t take anymore of this emotional rollercoaster, I finally succumbed. I wanted and needed to read the words that he took the time to write me. I was scared, touched and incredibly sad. But Ranger was never afraid to face his fears, and I so wanted him to be proud of me. I curled up on the couch and opened the letter; I could swear I heard the words….Proud of you Babe…..



Babe,


I have to start off by saying I’m sorry for leaving you. That was never my intention. I know you have to be pissed that I’m gone, but know that I fought like hell to come home to you. You’re also probably pissed that I left you the things that I did in my will, but you should know I would have left you more if I didn’t believe that you would kill me.


I love you Babe. You are my best and dearest friend, I can’t imagine what would have happened if I had not met you that day in the diner. You turned my world upside down and for that I thank you. You brought a great deal of light and love to my dark world. You became a part of the RangeMan family and the guys love you as much as you love them. You’re the heart of all of us.


Please let your MerryMen help you through this. Don’t hide in denial land for too long Babe. I understand the need for a little hiding, but I need you, and so do the guys. You should be living on the 7th floor by now, but don’t panic, I asked the guys to move you there. You belong there, and it is now your home. I take great comfort in knowing that you’re safe and surrounding by people that love you.


I’m sure you were shocked by the will, but you should know that I never make any decision without knowing it’s the right thing to do. You have a great many skills that RangeMan needs, instincts that are amazing, and honestly the guys need you. I need you to be at the helm with the core team, and be strong. Keep our family whole and intact.


You have no idea what you mean to them, how much your heart is a part of them and that enables the guys to do the jobs they do. They’ll help you as much as you’ll help them Babe. I wish I could be there as you step up in the business and watch you shine. I’m proud of you Babe.


You’re an amazing woman, don’t hide away and shut yourself off. I have always wanted what is best for you, I wish that it could have been me, but I would never have been able to open up to you all the way and share my entire life. I want you to move forward with your life, Babe. Find someone that can give you everything you deserve, and that will help you fly. Don’t you dare use me as an excuse for hiding out and not living.


Yes, I know how you think. But by moving on Babe, you honor what we had. By sharing your beautiful heart I will remain a part of you that and will soar with you.


Be strong Babe and surround yourself with the love and support of your Merry Men. Take care of them for me. I’m counting on you.


I Love You,


Carlos


Damn, how does he do that? ESP from the grave no less. The tears streamed down my face as I was wracked with sobs. I would try to do the very best for Ranger, and I do need and love my Merry Men. As for moving forward? Well Ranger, we’ll see.


It was during the time I was struggling to deal with Ranger’s death and all the changes that were happening around me, that Joe and my mother decided to try and interfere in my life. They seemed to feel that since Ranger was gone, the draw to hang around those ‘thugs’ as they called them would cease, and I would become the perfect little Burg girlfriend for Joe.


I was doing the final packing up of my apartment since I had agreed to Ranger’s wish (and the guy’s insistence) that I live on the7th floor. When I heard a knock on my door I was expecting some of the guys to come and help so I opened the door without looking and there stood Joe and my mother.


They looked around the empty apartment and asked me what I was doing. When I told them I was moving to RangeMan they both looked at me like I was insane. Both tried to reason that there was no need, and that since Ranger was gone the guys wouldn’t want me around.


Joe stated that I should finally come to my senses since I wouldn’t be blinded by Ranger’s charm anymore since he was dead. The look on his face as he said it disgusted me almost as much as what he was implying. My mother smiled sweetly at Joe and said we could start planning the wedding.


I couldn’t be quiet anymore. I, in no uncertain terms, informed them that I would be moving to RangeMan and continuing working there. That in fact, those ‘thugs’ as they called them, were the most honorable, honest and caring men that I had ever had the privilege to know, and that they supported me more than any person I had ever known, except Ranger. They were my family and I needed them. I would never give them up and I loved them all.


I watched as anger filled Joe’s face and he took a step closer to me. He grabbed my wrist to pull me out the door and said I wasn’t going to remain their whore anymore. I was his and Ranger couldn’t stop him or save me.


I informed him I wasn’t his whore either and he needed to let go of me and leave. He slapped me as my mother watched and did nothing. He was lifting his hand for another slap saying that he would knock some sense into me and that I was coming with him and my mother.


Just at that moment, Les stormed in the door followed by Tank and Hector .In no time I was safe in Hector’s arms as Les pinned Joe to the wall by his throat. In a tone I’d never heard come out of Les’s mouth, Les informed Joe that if he ever touched me, spoke to me, or even breathed in my air space it would be the last thing he would ever do.


My mother got all riled up saying that Joe was a police officer and they had no right to threaten him. Tank was immediately in her face. In a deadly cold and quiet voice, he asked what kind of a mother would watch as a man, who supposedly loved her daughter, struck her and did nothing about it.


That was the last time I let either of them near me. Tank and Les escorted them both out of the apartment returning to make sure I was alright. Les pulled me in his arms and held me tightly. I could feel the anger radiating from his body. Once assured that I was fine, we finished up, and left the apartment to head home.


I didn’t visit my parent’s home anymore, and after I talked with my dad and Grandma they understood. I spoke to them often and met with them here or for lunch somewhere, with a designated Merry Man in tow.


A knock on my office door brought me out of my musings and back to the present. I sighed.


“Come in.”


Les walked in my office, “Good morning Beautiful,” he said with a smile.


“Good morning to you Les.”


“Just wanted to give you a heads up that you’ll be going to dinner with us tonight and the reservation is for 7:00.”


“I will be? Why? And with whom?”


“Because we need to get out and we all want to go. There have been things to celebrate Beautiful, and it’s time we all get out and do just that. As for who will be going, it will be everyone but Binkie, Brett and Scar who have volunteered to man the fort while we were out. And before you get all upset, they’ll be compensated for missing the celebration.”


I looked down at my hands and tried to figure out a way so that I wouldn’t have to go.


“Beautiful, it’s time. There will never be a moment that he’s not in our thoughts, but he wouldn’t want any of us to lock ourselves away.” He stated, proving why I believed that they all had ESP.


“I know that, and I understand and truly see your point but….”


“No buts, you’re going. We all have to start somewhere, and we’ll all take the baby steps together. We all feel it Beautiful, and it’s something we all need.” He put his finger under my chin and lifted my eyes to meet his.


I sighed as I looked into his green eyes, “Ok. Together.”